How To Cope With Grief And Loss: What You Need To Know

Grief and loss are difficult and powerful experiences felt by all of us at some point in our lives. Although grief is a natural response to loss, it can cause immense emotions such as sadness, anxiety and anger. When grief is complicated and prolonged, it can be very difficult to manage. 

Read on to discover how to cope with grief and loss, and how we can help.

What is Grief? 

Grief is a natural emotional response to loss. It isn’t just ‘one feeling’ but a wide range of them, including confusion, sadness and anger, amongst others. Everyone experiences grief differently and there is no set timeline or uniform pattern.  

For veterans, grief might stem from the loss of fellow service members, a change in identity post-service, the loss of a limb or ability, or the death of a loved one. Veterans and the armed forces community can also be more frequently exposed to very difficult experiences which can make grief especially complicated.  

Symptoms of Grief and Loss 

The symptoms of grief and loss are not just emotional; they can affect you physically, mentally, and socially. Common symptoms include: 

• Emotional - Intense sadness, anger, guilt, or numbness. 

• Physical - Fatigue, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, or headaches. 

• Mental - Difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, or intrusive thoughts. 

• Social - Withdrawal from friends and family, or a reluctance to take part in activities you once enjoyed. 

Recognising these symptoms is an important step towards recovery. It is important you speak to a GP if your grief symptoms are very difficult to manage or interfere with your life or health. You can also fill out our form to get support.

Types of Grief 

There are several types of grief. It is a very complicated emotion and can show up in many forms. These can include: 

• Anticipatory Grief - This is experienced before an impending loss, such as a terminal diagnosis. Sometimes people begin to grieve before a loss, which can prolong the experience, affect their quality of life and make this time very distressing.  

• Complicated Grief - Prolonged and intense grief that interferes with daily life. For example, if you have lost a colleague, spouse or loved one to suicide, this can cause complicated feelings and intrusive thoughts.  

• Disenfranchised Grief - Grief that isn’t acknowledged or supported by society, such as grieving a non-traditional loss. For example, grieving your life in service during adjustment to civilian life. Many people find this sort of grief difficult to understand. 

• Cumulative Grief - Experiencing multiple losses in a short period, making it harder to recover. For veterans and the armed forces community, this could mean losing several friends in quick succession or going through multiple significant life changes.  

Understanding the type of grief you’re experiencing can help you find the right coping mechanisms and support. You should also see a specialist to rule out or help manage conditions with similar symptoms to grief, such as PTSD.  

Adapting to Grief and Loss 

Getting through a grieving period requires some adaptation. Adapting to grief doesn’t mean forgetting the loss; it means learning to live with it. This process often involves: 

• Acknowledging the Loss: Accepting the reality of what has happened. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially if the loss feels unjust or sudden. 

• Expressing Emotions: Allowing yourself to feel sadness, anger, or whatever emotions arise. If you are living with someone who is grieving, you can also help them to express their emotions by providing a safe space for them to do so. 

• Finding Meaning: Reflecting on what the loss means to you and how it shapes your life moving forward. This can be difficult sometimes when the loss is very unjust or sudden.  

• Building a New Routine: Establishing new habits to create a sense of stability. A loss can shake up our routine, so it’s important that we find a new ‘normal’ after this disruption.  

Read about Shaun’s journey through grief after losing his son and the steps he took to find meaning in this profound loss.  

Stages of Grief and Loss 

There are five commonly understood stages of grief. While not everyone experiences all stages or in the same order, they include

1. Denial - Struggling to accept the reality of the loss. 
2. Anger - Feeling frustration or anger about the loss. 
3. Bargaining - Wishing to change the circumstances of the loss. 
4. Depression - Experiencing deep sadness and withdrawal. 
5. Acceptance - Coming to terms with the loss and finding a way forward. 

These stages are not linear, and it’s normal to move back and forth between them. You may also find you get stuck on one of these for a long period. It’s important to be patient with yourself and not try and rush through your recovery.  

Strategies to Cope with Grief and Loss 

Coping strategies for grief and loss can include

• Seeking Professional Help - Therapists or counsellors can provide guidance and coping tools. At Help for Heroes, we can signpost veterans and families to psychological support, locally and online.  

• Leaning on Support Networks - Family, friends, or peer groups can offer comfort and understanding. We have community-based networks, coffee mornings and community programs that can help you through tough periods.  

• Practicing Self-Care - Prioritise sleep, nutrition, and physical activity to stay on top of your overall health. The better you feel physically, the more able you will feel to manage your grief.  

• Expressing Yourself - Journaling, art, or talking about your feelings can help process emotions. You might play a musical instrument or have an interest in crafting – use these outlets to express how you feel about the loss.  

• Setting Realistic Goals - Focus on small, achievable steps to rebuild your routine. If you are a family member of a person in grief, you can help them to set patterns, milestones and celebrate small wins.  

Finding Support to Deal with Grief and Loss 

Navigating grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to do it alone. There are many resources available to veterans and their families, including

• Peer support groups that connect you with others who understand your experience. 

• Access to professionals. These professionals understand specific veteran issues, such as losing a friend in service or suicide. 

• Community organisations that offer specialised grief counselling. We can signpost you within your own community to places equipped to help you. 

How We Can Help

At Help for Heroes, we are dedicated to supporting veterans and their families through life’s toughest challenges, including grief and loss. Our tailored services include: 

• Access to professional counselling and mental health resources. 

• Peer support programs and groups to connect you with others who understand your journey. 

• Practical advice and guidance to help you adapt to life after loss. 

• A way into your community via our community-based programs.  

If you or a loved one is struggling with grief and loss, we’re here to help. Fill out a form on the Help for Heroes website today to receive a call back.